Today my bride and I celebrate seventeen years of marriage. The rings you see above display the weathering, scratches and soil of living as a couple. These years included ten moves, five home purchases, four children (14, 11, 8, 3), one baby on the way (34 weeks thank you God), four miscarried babies in heaven, hundreds of friends across the country, illnesses galore (some very scary), tears of joy for children’s achievements, arguments, resolutions, and deep religious growth granted by God’s grace of faith to both of us inside the sacrament of marriage. We each fear the premature loss of the other more than ever. Just the thought takes our collective breath away.
We now, through the years of experience, understand the deep commitment required to maintain this relationship. We learned of the complex interaction between all the forms of love: agape (self gift), philia (friendship), ludus (playful), and eros (physical). At this point of our marriage we can only say we are starting to to keep them all in proper perspective. We find our marital joys multiply when we use these tools God built in us while building his kingdom here on earth. This understanding is right on time. Little kids normally only provide little problems. Big kids have the big head hurting problems to deal with. The next seventeen years should be more interesting then the last seventeen. Therefore we have a lot more work to do on our relationship.
My wife and I lamented the Supreme Court ruling yesterday. It was wrong on a matter of states rights and morality. More importantly it gave into the concept that everyone deserves happiness and love as they personally define it at this moment. The concept of love people throw around in common speech today, has a diluted definition resulting from poor catechesis by churches and schools. I also venture to say the concept comes from a lack of self reflection. The constant bombardment of noise in our brains from so many media sources provides no silence in which God can be heard. If our marriage followed such a fluid metric, we would be a separated wreck of humanity by now.
We will pray our country does not continue down this manmade path of tyranny. This is of course the inevitable result in any country refusing to subordinate itself (and its rulers) to Natural Law principles. This couple will continue to trust in God’s compass, not our internally flawed guidance systems subject to radical narcism. We will need it to navigate the scary world now before us.
Thank you God for making my wife, and revealing yourself to us through the graces of his son Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. I am grateful for the journey you gave us to travel together. Amen.